What I Really Meant To Say, Is I'm Sorry For The Way I Am

And Here I Am, The Only Living Girl In New York

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 19:38:01 GMT

...Carrot and I will be in Hawaii for the next week or so.

Chocolate, I'm sorry we haven't had a chance to properly meet yet, perhaps we can when I get back.

If They Take Something Precious From Me, I'm Going To Take Something Precious From Them

Wed, 16 May 2007 16:14:01 GMT

...Coming back to Cross in a couple of days, things are finally wrapped up here.

My new roomate's name is Chocolate.

...What are the odds of that?

Carrot, do you think we could go out or something when I get back?

This Is No Modern Romance

Sun, 06 May 2007 21:49:40 GMT

I should be back in Cross in about two weeks.
So until then, behave, okay Carrot?
~~I would hate to have to punish you OHOHOHOHOHOHO~~

But I'll Burn That Bridge When I Get To It

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 18:26:51 GMT

...Things are almost taken care of here.
We found Father...and they're getting him back on his medication.

...It'll be a few more weeks until I'm recovered enough to come back though.

Carrot, you better be staying out of trouble.

And I Don't Know If I Can Do It

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 15:52:56 GMT

...Father escaped.

They don't know where he is.

I wish Chocolate could take care of this.

~~I wish I had asked Carrot to come along with me. I don't want to deal with this alone~~

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 20:01:33 GMT

...Carrot...would you care to back home with me for Christmas?

And Their Hearts Will Be Broken If You Can't Decide Between Them

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 20:33:54 GMT

...I haven't seen Carrot in a while.
Not...since...well...that time.
He said something about visiting home
I wonder if he's back yet..

..I need to speak to Vash-kun
I wish..there was an easy way to do this
I don't want to hurt him..or anyone...

But...I have to make a choice...right?

I should get out more...talk to people...make friends.
I wonder where would be a good place to go...the cafe...frightens me.

I'm Feeling Guilty, Why Do I?

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 22:00:44 GMT

..I should be happier.
This is what I wanted, wasn't it?
I mean..it is..I care about him...so much.
But I can't help but feel guilty.
I hurt Vash-kun...out of my own selfishness, to get what I wanted.

He cared about me so much...or seemed to.
I tried my hardest to get close to him, but we dated over a year...and he never told me anything about him!
Even now, I know next to nothing about him.
It's hard to truthfully get close to someone when they won't let you in.
Still, I should talk to him about all this, I owe him that much, at least.

...My sister is not going to be pleased, when I write home about this.
But..at least Marron should be supportive.

FST'D XO

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 11:16:10 GMT

1. Split Personality by Pink

Tell me why can't I say this, why can't I do that? Tell me what do they want from me, tell me how to act.

2. Hurricane by Tapping The Vein

It's impossible for what's left of this to be saved. And it's sinking in that my being here's a mistake

3. Sally's Song by Fiona Apple

And will we ever end up together? No I think not, it's never to become. Because I am not the one

4. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot (Acoustic) by Brand New

Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad you could forgive, maybe as time goes, you can forget.

5. You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol

More than anything I want to see you go take a glorious bite out of the world

6. Half by G Tom Mac

They're only half the page of the story you write

7. If Only From The Little Mermaid Broadway Concept Demos

If only you would notice how I suffer behind my smile, I guess you never will, I guess it doesn't show.

8. My Head by K's Choice

If you were my head, you'd know where it hurts, so pick up the dirt, if you were my head, I would be heard

9. I'm A Bitch by Meredith Brooks

Just when you think, you got me figured out, the season's already changing. I think it's cool, you do what you do, and don't try to save me

11. Strong Enough by Sheryl Crow

I have a face I cannot show, I make the rules up as I go. It's try and love me if you can, are you strong enough to be my man?

12. Sorry I Am by Ani Difranco

I guess I never loved you quite as well as the way you loved me, I guess I'll never really be able to tell you how sorry I am

13. Fear of Dying by Jack off Jill

I'm not afraid of happy endings, I'm just afraid my life won't work that way

Call Me A Safe Bet, I'm Betting I'm Not.

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 21:25:44 GMT

...Really, it was for the best of things.
..I'm sure Vash-kun will be better off this way, eventually
Maybe he can find someone who can freely give their heart to them.

...I think I'm just going to stay here in the room for a while.
That way, I can't make things any worse.

And If You Care, Don't Let Them Know, Don't Give Yourself Away

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 11:13:10 GMT

...I haven't seen Vash-kun since...it's been a while anyways
I hope he's alright

I haven't been sleeping well lately
At least it gives me more time to study

Carrot is here now...
I'm supposed to be showing him around sometime soon

I wish Fai-san would leave me alone, he is not my mother and his insistance so..it's disrespectful to Auntie Apricot's memory, really.

I'm not sure what to make of any of this..

I wish Chocolate or Marron were here...I could use someone to talk to, I suppose.

...Though, Kuroneko-sama makes a good listener.

When I Am Queen I'll Have My Way, I'll Make It Drowning Dolly Day

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 07:54:37 GMT

I've been so busy lately, trying to figure out my summer and fall schedules
For this second session, I'm taking Philosphy and Microbiology
I hope they're interesting classes
I've already started looking through the books

Vash-kun is back and that makes me very happy
We went on our first date in a long time
I'm glad to be able to talk to him more freely now
Even if I'm still afraid I might loose him

I should really go visit Yuuko-san sometime soon and thank her for helping me
And ask her help to convince Fai-san that I'm not part of his "family"

Speaking of family, I need to call home soon
I haven't heard from Carrot or the others in a while..

I thought Chocolate was coming here, but I guess I was mistaken
I could use my big sister around..
I don't really have anyone to talk to..

I Used To Want To Make You Mine, Now I Have Better Things In Mind

Tue, 30 May 2006 06:54:55 GMT

...I visited a woman named Yuuko the other evening in order to get help with my confidence problem
Because I heard she was good at that stuff
She took away my cloak and glasses, and it feels awkward without them
I also need to buy some more appropriate clothing...
And talk to Vash-kun as soon as possible.

Tira was fidgeting nervously as she made her way to the door of the woman's house, this woman who could supposedly help her. What if something went wrong. The redhead shook her head lightly, trying to rid her mind of doubt as she began to knock on the door.

Before she could even set hand against door a young blue haired child opened it. “Evening!” She said cheerfully. It was followed by a second chorus of evening from a pink haired girl poking her head from the kitchen. “You've come to see mistress no?” Asked the young blue haired girl. This was chorused by the word Mistress from the pink haired one.

Tira blinked in confusion at the two children for a moment before nodding her head slowly in agreement. "Yes, yes I have," she finally replied, fidgeting with a peice of her long red cloak nervously. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all...

Idea good or not, it was too late now. The blue haired girl was already tugging her, cloak and all inside the door.

“Name?” Came the almost daunting voice of the mistress of the house.

"Tira Misu," she replied quietly, bringing her hand up to push back up her large glasses that had begun to slide down.

"Birthday?" The woman didn't even turn around.

"June 19th"

Tira Misu ....” She mused darkly before turning around on the couch, red eyes looking over the girl. “You aren't in my Logic class?” She said cheerfully. Yes, the woman's whole manner had changed in that one moment.

"No, M'am," she replied politely, shaking her head. To be honest? She was just a bit intimidated.

“Mmmm, then it isn't about the final.” She mused aloud. She already knew it wasn't about something so trivial. The child's coming was fate, after all. “Come, sit down and talk with me Tira-chan.”

"Of course," She replied softly following the woman, a little caught off guard by the nickname. Usually, the only person who called her that was her sister...or Vash.

She gestured to a seat and one of the girls brought out tea for both of them. “And what is bothering you about Vash-kun?” She asked, taking her tea and sipping from it.

Tira's eyes widened slightly in suprise at her question. "How..how did you know it was about Vash-kun?"

She smiled into her tea. “When one gives their name, they are opening the history of themselves to the receiver, when one offers their birthrate, the offer the rest. “Now, tell me about this Vash-kun of yours.” She sat back in her chair. “And do have some tea, it's your favorite.”

Tira paused for a moment, thinking about it before answering. "Well...he's very sweet, a little excentric sometimes I suppose, but he usually means well...usually, I suppose from time to time he can be a bit of a pervert."

Her lips spread at the description. “As all good men are.” She mused under her breath, waiting for the young red head to continue.

Tira blushed slightly at that, but decided not to comment on it, and continued. "Well...sometimes, I get the feeling that he has some sort of secret...something he's not telling me. Like as if that happy exterior, the erratic behavior, as if was all an act"

She took another sip of her tea. "And have you asked him after this trait?"

Tira shook her head. "No. But once...I saw...he had all these horrible scars over his body...so I mean...something must of happened to him"

"Why have you not asked?"

"I'm afraid"

"Of?"

"The answer. I'm not sure if I'd be able to handle it, or what if he got mad at me for asking? What if it's too painful for him to recall?"

"And yet," She set her cup down, the click harsh. "You claim to yourself that you love him."

Tira look taken aback. "Love?" Although they had been together for a while now, neither one of them had ever used that word. Though she knew she cared for him...part of her was still unsure of things. It had taken her years to come to grips with her feelings for Carrot, how could she fall in love again so quickly?

She watched her reactions. Using such strang words always eliceted such interesting reactions that told her stories her clients never would. "And why do you compare him, this, to Carrot?"

Tira looked alarmed, now she knew she hadn't mentioned that. She hadn't told anyone about that, not even Vash. "Well...I guess in some ways they're sort of similar...both very erratic and strange...and Carrot was probably the worst skirt chaser I've ever met"

"And yet, you harbor deep feelings for him." She picked her tea back up.

"I guess...I guess part of me still does. I loved him for a long time, I don't know how to just..let go of that"

"Then is that you wish?" She asked, knowing that it wasn't.

"No."

"Then continue."

"What I want...I guess what I need is more confidence, instead of constantly doubting things"

"I see." She paused as if thinking about this. "And why do you doubt?"

"I guess I'm not used to things going well. I can't help but constantly wonder when things will go wrong"

"You can't or you won't?"

"Can't...I mean, why would anyone choose to worry?"

"It is in man's nature to question." She said simply.

"I suppose. Still. It's hard to be happy when you're constantly unsure of things"

"Is it?" She asked simply. "Then, you have come to me with the wish for courage?"

"Yes"

"Such a change can only occur if one is willing to allow it to, you know this?"

"I know. And I am. If I wasn't willing...I wouldn't of come"

"And you are aware that it is on the individual's part to change, correct?"

Tira nodded her head slowly. "Yes"

"And you are aware that there is also a price?"

"I figured there might be. How much do you want?" Tira asked, beginning to dig into the pocket of her cloak for her wallet.

She held up a hand. "I do not want your money."

"Oh" Tira stopped, looking at the other woman with a confused expression on her face. "What do you want then?"

She frowned. "I fear that it must be something that you take quite for granted." Her eyes looked up sharply. "I require, your inner thoughts."

"My inner thoughts? What do you mean?"

"You are to speak exactly what you think, no mayyer how damaging ot worrysome such things may be. You are not to THINK anything, you will speak it at all times."

Tira's eyes widened slightly. "Everything...no matter what?" Usually, the only time she spoke her mind was when she was angry...and even then, she didn't say everything.

"No matter what." She repeated.

"And that's the only way?"

"It is the way that you have requested."

"I see.." Tira fell quiet for a moment, thinking. "I'll do it"

SHe nodded. She'd alredy known the girl's answer. There was no other way for her if she was coming to her.

"How will I know when my wish has come true?"

"I never said that you were to cease."

"Oh. So in order for what I want to come to pass, I have to continue those actions for now on?" she replied, trying to make sure she understood the situation

She nodded

"Alright then," she began to rise to her feet. "Is there anything else I need to know?"

She shook her head.

Tira nodded, bowing deeply infront of the other woman, bringing a hand up to stop her glasses as she did so. "Thank you"

"Your glasses, do you require them at all?" She asked easily enough.

"No, not really, it's more of a comfort thing really."

"Then don't wear them again."

"Okay. It's going to be weird...I've worn them since I was a small child"

"To hide yourself."

"Yes. I usually only take them off in...extreme cases"

"Would you not say this is an extreme case?"

"I suppose it is."

"Then remove them, and never use them again."

"Alright," Tira replied, lifting her hand up to remove the large pair of glasses from her face.

She held out her hand for them.

Tira sighed softly, handing them over to the other woman. It felt almost like handing over part of herself.

She took them in her hands and set them on the table.

"Well, if I'm handing over anything that I hide behind..." she hesistated before removing the large cloak, leaving her only in the outfit underneath, handing it over as well. "I better give you this too"

She took that as well. What an interestingly profitable venture this was. "Thank you for your honesty."

"No point in doing it, if I'm not doing it completely," she replied with a slight smile. "Though...I do feel a bit vunerable."

"That is the point"

"Right. Though..." she looked down at the corset and boots she was wearing. "I might want to find some less revealing clothing to wear"

A small smirk, she couldn't help but admit the girl was arousing in that attire. "I rather like it. In fact, if you were disposed I would take you right here."

Tira blushed a bright red at the comment. "I'm sorry, I don't like women,...I mean, not that way. Besides, I don't think Vash-kun would like that much...or well...actually, knowing him, he might"

She laughed. it was so much fun to fluster others. "We could videotape it for him."

Tira blushed even more, shaking her head furiously. "No, I really don't think that's nessisary"

"Pity, I should love to see you dominate me." She smiled.

"Well, generally, it only happens when I'm angry, and besides, I'm really not interested"

The smirk changed to a laugh. "Quite alright. I've played with you quite enough for one day, don't you think?"

"I think so," Tira replied, the blush beginning to fade from her cheeks.

"Then have a good evening." She gave the girl a wink.

"You have a good evening as well," Tira replied, giving another bow before turning to leave the house.

I Think I Could Last At Least A Week Without Someone To Hold Me. Won't You Hold Me?

Tue, 09 May 2006 07:25:21 GMT

I'm back here now

Nami, I'll be by to pick up Vanilla-chan and Kuroneko-sama soon, I'm sorry you had to watch them for so long

Vash-kun, I'd...I'd like to speak to you soon, if at all possible

Father was okay, once they found him and got him back on his meds
It had been a long time since I had last seen him
He was so drugged, he barely recognized me

...I think I might end things with Vash-kun
He deserves someone less violent and...I don't know

I just don't seem to know what's going on with me lately

It's like there's this other half that I was barely even aware of

Everything Came Clean, Now Everything's Brown

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 10:42:24 GMT

I have to head home...
~~Something about father. This can't be good~~

Nami, do you think you could watch Kuroneko and Vanilla-chan while I'm gone?
I'm really sorry about this

Vash-kun, when I return, I'd really like to see you

OOC!

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 10:39:25 GMT

Hey all

I hate to do this, but I have to take a hiatus for a while.

Emotionally, there's just too much going on right now.
I need to take care of myself, and my grades, midterms are coming up

So I should only be gone for about a week or so, and here is where my pups are:

Tira- Went home on family business
Ayame- Headed back to Japan to help out Mine
Utena- Is doing Utenaish stuff?
Gojyo- In his dorm, probably drunk most of the time

If you want to just chat with me or whatever, I can be found on my OOC-AIM: MoonGoddessSK

OOC:

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 09:51:30 GMT

This is not a hiatus. Well, not exactly. I realize I haven't finished some scenes with people, like Vash-mun or Mura-mun, and there are some people I need to still do scenes with. My life has been very...dramatic lately, for lack of a better word. I've been having alot of problems with both my family and one of my closest friends. So, I'm having a hard time tapping my characters. This doesn't mean I'm adverse to trying to finish scenes or anything, I can just make no promises. Poor Ayame, Tira, Gojyo and Utena. I really have been neglecting them. Hopefully things will die down soon, and I can start being more active again.

My Cat Is Amazing, He Can Play The Guitar...

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 10:31:35 GMT

Nami...is this new cat yours?

Kuroneko-sama doesn't seem to like him much ~~Though still more than that cat seems to like Vash-kun~~

OOC:

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 20:30:39 GMT

Vash is recieving a package today containing a black leather bondage outfit
This is obviously sent by Tira's dominatrix half
She will not remember sending this
The card says something like this: To my wonderful slave. May you always be willing to kiss my feet. Sincerly, your Mistress

That is all

Scars Are Souvinears You Never Loose, The Past Is Never Far

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 00:58:59 GMT

I should probably visit Vash-kun soon

~~I've been avoiding him ever since I saw his scars. Not good. I just don't know how to approach him about it. I'm scared of what the explenation could be~~

We'll Take It Safe And Slow, The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows...

Sun, 22 Jan 2006 02:15:01 GMT

So, I couldn't sleep last night
So I snuck into Vash's room and slept with him there
And I do mean sleeping, nothing else, thank you very much
It was very...pleasent.
I was suprised by how peaceful I felt

When I woke up this morning...
Well, at first I was almost frightened, but then..
I saw all these scars underneath Vash's shirt
I wonder how he got them...
Just what has he gone through...?
I want to ask, but I find myself almost afraid of the answer

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 22:55:04 GMT

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Sh_tiramisu!

Human beings are the only animals that copulate while facing sh_tiramisu.

If you blow out all the candles on sh_tiramisu with one breath, your wish will come true!

An average beaver can cut down sh_tiramisu every year.

Sh_tiramisu can squeeze her entire body through a hole the size of her beak!

Sh_tiramisu is the oldest playable musical instrument in the world!

Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using sh_tiramisu.

A sh_tiramisuometer is used to measure sh_tiramisu!

It's bad luck for a flag to touch sh_tiramisu!

Sh_tiramisu can give birth ten days after being born, and is born pregnant!

Ancient Greeks believed earthquakes were caused by sh_tiramisu fighting underground.

OOC

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:43:40 GMT

I uploaded this for Vash-mun, but anyone is free to watch it XD

http://rapidshare.de/files/10774528/Trigun_-_Wanna_be_a_Cowboy.mpg.html

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 04:17:35 GMT

<td align="center">

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

Well, I guess that sort of makes sense

((OOC: Actually, I was cracking up, because it made so much sense. Which isn't great when your mouth is still filled with pain. However, Tim Burton is like my favorite director ever. That is all))

OOC Attack!

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 10:01:23 GMT

So, tommorow morning I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed
Which means I will be hopped up on pain killers for a few days
Which probably means no RP
Which means, Tira, Ayame, Gojyo, and Utena will all be on hold
Sorry for the inconvience